


What do you know about me?

by GrayCraneo



Category: Loki - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-02-09 17:10:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18642451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayCraneo/pseuds/GrayCraneo
Summary: The Avengers are sure: Loki needs a Babysitter. Who better than a young girl who doesn't see a monster in him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue so I do hope the story doesn't come out too rough on your ears. But I was so frustrated about Loki being dead after IW, that I had to start a little story to amuse myself. Perhaps you like it too. I'm also open to suggestions or critics on my writing.  
> Thank you for reading.

Loki's staring at you. For a few seconds you try to look back at him but that doesn't really work because it makes you dizzy to look into his eyes for too long. Because you could sink into the green eyes and the sparkling galaxies for hours. And then you wouldn't get out of your dreams so quickly. Through your eyelids you look at him, absorbing every detail of how the light gets caught in his hair and registering the slight shadow cast by his beard stubbles. You really have to be careful that your enthusiasm for the young God doesn't become too obvious. Because for you he is clearly the prettiest man of the Avengers although he is officially not one of them. Loki clears his throat and you turn your attention completely back to him, looking him in the eye. "What is your plan now, to guard me here until there's another mission?" he asks mockingly, what brings the blush of shame to your face. Once again you have been here much too long. Actually, you should only have accompanied Loki and dropped him off in his room, then you would have had free time. Nevertheless you followed him out of curiosity to have a look into his room and to find a clue to what he likes and what he likes to do. There you are, looking all over the room but not at Loki, with your back straight up so that you don't sink into the all too comfortable sofa. Scared up by Loki's words, you laboriously torment yourself up from your seat and walk to the door. "See you later, Loki." you mumble and walk back to your room. There you sit down at your desk and sort out case files and reports for Tony. But you couldn't concentrate very well, your thoughts keep returning to space and the exciting things you could discover there. If only you could go to another place once in these seven known worlds. How envious you were when you heard Jane's story a few months ago. The young researcher had once been in Asgard, had met the Allfather, Lokis Mother and had also seen the Bifröst. Had been led around by Thor, had met his mother and had stood by him in the fight against the dark elves. And she was also intelligent and a scientist. Your life and intelligence, on the other hand, are more average and hardly worth mentioning. And what have you already seen exciting in your life? Not much, you've never travelled, New York has always been your home and it has never pulled you further away than Brooklyn. The most exciting day of your life had actually been the invitation to the Stark Tower.

Your thoughts wander back to the day when you could hold the invitation in your hands. Even a wax seal had been attached to the bright white envelope with the A in the middle. Never in your life would you have thought it possible that your application would be read let alone answered. And yet Tony Stark himself had called and invited you. You had been more nervous than ever at a lecture at school and had thrown yourself into your most beautiful blouse, the blue one with the stars and the ruffles on your shoulders. You expected to see an official asking you a few questions and letting you go very soon. Instead you were left alone outside a door by Mrs. Potts. "They are expecting you." she had said and left. How irritated you had been and asked yourself who she probably meant, whether the interview was conducted by several people. When the door opened automatically after a short time, you had flinched but the actual heart attack you had only when you could see into the room. All the faces so familiar to you from the newspaper stared at you. Tony Stark, Thor, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanova, Clint Barton and Steve Rogers. You hesitantly stepped into the room and crossed your hands behind your back so they couldn't reveal your nervousness. Tony stood up from the sofa all of them were sitting on and greeted you, then introduced you to the others. Bravely you shook everyone's hand and tried to understand what was happening here and why you were introduced before the interview to these heroes. You almost died of excitement when everyone looked at you intensively because Tony said, "Here's our new assistant. What do you think?" Secretly you had looked around for the others who had looked at you with serious expressions from top to bottom. A voice behind you had buzzed: "Well, she's been here for five minutes now and hasn't fallen over with excitement yet. I think that gives her a big head start." Confused, you turned around and faced a tall, black-haired man with a square face. A little smug smile had surrounded his gracefully curving lips, but you registered the inconspicuous shackles on his wrists immediately. You had turned red to the hair roots when he made fun of you, but you still looked at him resolutely and defiantly, which Tony commented with laughter. "And I see she's not afraid of you, Loki." That was the first time you had faced the god of mischief. "I think we found someone who can take on Loki. Everyone for it?" Tony had asked casually and everyone had nodded. Tony had put his arm around your shoulders and led you to the door. "Well then, Monday at 7 you start. See you around." And with these words he had closed the door behind you again and you were hired. As a member in the background of the Avengers. More precisely Loki's watchdog.

"Hello there," a hand waving in front of your face quickly brings you back to reality. Tony Stark stands in front of your desk and looks at you critically as you slowly awaken from your daydreams: "If you always work like this, I'll soon have to hire someone else to look after Loki," he jokes, then waves at you to come along. Like a trained dog you dackle after him and ask yourself where you are going. Usually Tony never interrupted your free time. An elevator quickly takes you to the floor desired and you quickly notice that you are on Loki's level. The dark green walls reflect his eye color and somehow you feel like you're in the middle of a forest. Tony leads you through a blue painted corridor at the end of which Thor stands angrily in front of a door and loudly hammers against it. "Open up, you fool," he yells against the door as if it could understand him. An angry voice answers him from the locked room, but you couldn't hear the response. With one last frustrated blow against the door, Thor turns away and watches you approach. "We had a fight and now he's going crazy. He locked himself in and doesn't want to come out anymore," he explains resignedly. "Please try to calm him down. You can do that, can't you?" You look at him frowning. The Avengers quickly found out that your calm nature had a positive effect on the people around you. But can you calm an angry god? You're really not so sure about your abilities, but you're still happy about the trust that the two men place in you. Tony seems to be very sure of you, though, as he hands you the key card for Loki's room and wishes you good luck before he pulls Thor down the hallway behind him and disappears from your sight. Indecisive, you look from the card to the door and back. Should you enter just like that? "Come on, let's go," you cheer yourself on. Tony wants you to calm Loki down and that's exactly what you'd do.


	2. Chapter 2

With one jerk you pull the card through the slot and the door opens without resistance. “I said leave me alone”, is the first thing you hear as the door opens. A soft whirr tells you that something is flying towards you before you see the little knife flying straight at your head. Only your quick reaction prevents you from having a knife in your head or eye, but you're still not fast enough to prevent the knife from hitting you and scratching your ear. Blood is pouring out and with the red trickle the pain is coming. "Ouch," you moan before pressing your hand against your ear and leaning against the wall next to the door. From the corner of your eye you can see a motion and lift the other hand defensively in front of your face. As you let it sink carefully, Loki stands in front of you. His guilty conscience is written on his face and he hesitantly moves one step closer. "Why do you just come in here unannounced, I thought you were Thor!" he preaches to you and instead of hesitation you now recognize anger in his eyes. The throbbing in your head makes you be more courageous than your mind normally allows you to be and you bawl at him: "Why do you just throw knives around? You could have hurt me - oh no, wait, that already happened. No normal person throws knives around, especially not at women." Loki's facial features relax when he realizes that you're fine except for a little shock, and his usual superior expression immediately reappears on his face. "God," he says apologetically, pointing to himself, his mood had jumped back to playful. Your ear is still pounding but you can't be angry with a joking Loki for very long. And actually nothing bad had happened, that bit of blood is not the end of the world. When Loki sees that your corners of your mouth are moving upwards, he kneels down to you and conjures up a handkerchief. "May I?" he asked, pointing towards your ear. You nod and put your hand down. "It looks good so far, but I think we should also teach you how to avoid knives," he teases, with his head only inches away from yours. "Yes or you, to control your emotions, whatever is easier.", you grumble. Loki's gaze tells you that you said something wrong. Before he can leave, you reach for his arm. It was only a brief touch but as your skin touches his, images and feelings like lightning chase through you.

Pain. Heat. Hate. Cold. Ice. Fire. A child.

Shocked, you pull your hand back and press it against your chest. Loki apparently felt that something had happened to you because he stops his movement and looks at you anxiously. "What is going on', you hear his velvety voice say, but you couldn't answer, your brain was just processing the images and feelings. Does Loki have the pictures going through his head as well? Or what was it? "Can I touch your hand?" the question escapes your lips before you can hold it back. Loki's gaze was alert and you can see the unspoken question in his eyes, but he carefully stretches his hand out towards you without any words. With one look you ask him again for permission to touch him and as he nods you concentrate only on his fingers. His long, graceful fingers with the fine veins and the small scar on the side of the palm. Carefully as if you were touching a raw egg, you lay your fingers lightly on his and they are unexpectedly soft, which is surprising, after all, men's hands are usually calloused and rough. But this time no pictures appear in your head. Irritated, you pull your fingers back again and stare doubtfully at his hand. Only the feeling of his fingers, which radiate light warmth, remains. "Strange, what was that then?" you ask yourself in your thoughts. Will you now go crazy with all the superheroes around you? "Not everyone here is a superhero, dear. Besides, you are still very far away from crazy, believe me." Loki looks at you amused and sneaks gracefully over to the sofa. Embarrassed, you followed him and sat down at his side, naturally you said that out loud. "Will you tell me now what that just was?" he asks quietly and fixes you insistently with his eyes. An apologetic smile scurries over your face: "That's not why I'm actually here. I'm here because of you, Loki. I would like to help you, not you me. I'm supposed to support you as long as you're here and live with all of us. Will you tell me why you were so angry with Thor?" you ask, trying to distract him. A few seconds pass while the young God looks at you and thinks about whether it would be worth it to argue. Then he sighs loudly and murmurs: "Sometimes I hate that you are such a good listener. And I wasn't really mad at Thor. But now from the beginning: Does the term Midgard Serpent mean anything to you? A creature as evil as the ice giants and as clever as the Asgards, they say." Loki's voice sounds bitter. "Your child," you whisper almost silently with your eyes wide open. The stories about the Midgard Serpent and the Fenris Wolf are very familiar to you, because you have always found Nordic mythology fascinating, but hearing the story here from Loki is something very special. A wistful smile scurries over Loki's face as he looks out the window of the Stark Tower and continues to speak. 

"Yes, they all called her my child, but she wasn't my flesh and blood. A long time ago I just found a child from Asgard who was brought to die in the holy garden and to save it gave him the breath of a snake lurking in the grass and trying to eat the child. But the result was not a reptile as one might think, but a young girl with beautiful brown hair and noble facial features, so similar to mine. I called her Fiona. I gave her into the care of my mother and looked after her again and again. One day I heard she ran away and I searched for her day in and day out until I finally found her in the world of the ice giants. She had heard stories about my origins and wanted to force the ice giants to tell her the truth. Instead, she had been captured to betray knowledge about Asgard. She betrayed nothing and no one, for that she was mistreated. I found her hanging in a cage above the abyss, her beautiful hair hanging grey with mud and stringy. She froze all over and I did my best to help her so I took her to my father's healers. Naive as she was, she told the whole story truthfully, where she had been and what had been done to her. Of course my father heard everything". Loki gets up jerkily and you almost slide off the sofa in shock. Breathlessly you follow his steps that lead him to the window, to which he thoughtfully puts his forehead against. His voice can hardly be heard and you can literally grasp his sadness as he continues: "My father thought it was to be feared that she would go to the giants again but next time to betray us. That she was a security risk for all who lived on Asgard. And with just one touch of his spear he took away all her humanity until there was nothing left but the breath of the snake. He nourished it until the beautiful, sweet girl was no longer there, only an oversized snake with the upper body of a human being. This way he was sure no one would listen to her, as who would listen to a deformity. Fiona could no longer speak, only hiss. Her beautiful face was narrow, her nose had almost disappeared and her skin was leathery. Even her hair had become ugly. When she saw her reflection, Fiona went crazy. All those near her were attacked by her until my mother finally called me to her and told me what my father had done. Fiona had shed bitter tears until I could let her sleep with a spell. I woke next to her for hours and held her in my arms to comfort her somehow but I couldn’t undo the spell my so called father put on her. However, she could not cope with her appearance and the next morning she had disappeared again. Odin forbade me to follow her so I watched her from afar. And as I followed her life, this cursed and lonely one, I decided to give her a brother to protect her from the bad people who would hurt her." Loki smiles as he turns back to you and almost incidentally strokes a strand of his hair from his eyes. "And the breath of death blew through the streets and even the gods trembled when Fenris entered the world," Loki quotes the sentence from Edda, which describes the birth of the Fenris wolf. "Just as I created Fiona out of compassion, I created Fenris out of hate. Yes, I hated my father and I wanted Fiona to have someone strong beside her to protect her." A cold shiver comes down your spine, but Loki continues unimpressed: "Someone who can replace me at her side. And so Fenris became a mighty and hateful creature who went through Midgard with Fiona. My father was furious at my actions and threw me down there too then he closed the Bifrost behind me. So I went hungry through the winter and not only once did I barely escape hungry bears. And even though I was wandering all over the country, through the storm and I didn't see Fiona or Fenris. I could swear it was Odin's work. He was keeping me from them intentionally to punish me." The young Asgardian is suddenly quiet and silences for quite a while as you hardly dare to breathe, fearing that he would stop his story if you did.


	3. Chapter 3

But Loki continues after his break: "Odin got me back weeks later, let me come home. Just in time that I could accompany Thor on his first of many silly quests," he grins mischievously at the thought of the events of that time, which almost makes you smile. But only almost. Because all of a sudden his mood changes like a stream that becomes a torrential river. Loki's aura radiates so negatively that you briefly fear it would manifest itself in a hurricane. The walls shook and the ground trembled. Maybe it was just your imagination, but it seemed as if Loki wanted to unhinge the world, his gaze had become so dark and loveless. Nevertheless, his voice remains calm like a gentle caress on the skin as he continues speaking. Only the monotony and colourlessness of his voice gives you a glimpse of how he really feels: "And Thor comes here today and says they are dead. Both of them. Surtur attacked Midgard and nobody did anything. Nobody, none of the Asgardians, not the ruler of the Seven Worlds took the trouble to help Midgard. You remember the news of the big forest fire last week?” His emotions were suddenly just as violent as when he had fought with Thor earlier. "And they imprison me here, alone and cut off from all those who mean something to me, so far away", he gasps more and more angry, his voice sharp like a knife edge. "They left me. All of them!" His outburst surprises you, you never considered Loki a lonely person. Carefully you stand up and watch him, but he doesn't seem to notice your presence at all anymore. Loki stares so angrily ahead as if he could pulverize the wall but you can see tears burning in his eyes. 

Out of a feeling you overcome the short distance between the both of you and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down into a tight embrace. "That's not true! I'm with you Loki, I won't leave you alone, you are not alone as long as I am here. Do you hear me? I'll stay at your side as long as you want me to!” you whisper without a doubt and softly into his ear, because only he should hear those words. As you feel exactly how close Loki is to losing control you hope that your closeness and a hug would distract him. Which did not turn out the way you hoped. As he abruptly releases from your grip and pushes you away at arm's length, you almost stumble. The mistrust in his eyes is visible to you, as is a small remnant of anger that must have been directed at you at that moment. Not a spark of joy or benevolence is to be discovered anymore and suddenly you are afraid of the God before you. You are afraid of his mercilessness and the hatred that you can feel so clearly. You involuntarily tremble under his gaze and want nothing more than to get out of the room. For you have revealed too much of yourself, and made your fondness for him obvious. Never should you have come that close to him, no matter what the circumstances. He also rejected you, and that was it for you: "Get yourself together," you scold yourself internally. Still like a professional you put on an indifferent face while saying goodbye and leaving the room. As fast as you can walk without running directly, you wander down the corridor. You don't pay attention to your way but just try to calm yourself down while tears were pouring out of your eyes. "Come down, get back in the game. All is well," you repeat the sentences like a mantra until you arrive at a double security door. The training course. This is just the right thing to calm you down. Physical exercise helps against everything, including a troubled heart. Your code is quickly typed in and your favourite simulation is also ready. Quickly you slip into your motion jacket and close it tightly. "Let's go", you said loudly and your signal word as agreed with Tony brings the arena to life. And you love fighting. There is not much more to think about, reaction follows action and a blow follows dodge, even your tears that blinded you in the beginning vanished within seconds. You beat up the first 10 opponents with ease, but then five men approach you at the same time and you catch a few hits in the pit of your stomach, thanks to Tony's motion jacket you notice them as if they were real. Your movements just aren't precise enough today or has the simulation become harder? Anyway, you have to fight pretty hard to stand up to your opponents at all and the sweat is coming out of your pores fast. The image of Loki's destructive gaze keeps invading your inner eye and puts a painful thrust into your heart that diminishes your strength. By shouting loudly, you fight your way through the other aliens, punching them in the chin, head and back. As another superior force comes upon you and you close to lying on the ground and waiting for the training time to expire, you once again mobilize your last strength against the attackers. With a desperate last cry you turn them into light reflexes dancing through the room before the holograms go off. Only after the adrenaline has evaporated you realize what just happened. The safety glass didn't give way but the soft vibration tells you that you moved the glass. Just like you destroyed all your opponents. 13 men at once. Carefully you go to the training control and look at the automatic recording. You could see the pressure wave that had left your body and made everything around you tremble. Even the image from the surveillance camera had failed briefly. Quickly you rewind and look at it again. Your scream and then the pressure wave. No flashes or the like of it but it is clear to you that your emotional state has brought out this power. As it happens with Bruce. If the others would see the video, they would ask questions. Would you be able to answer them? Probably not. So what should you do? 

When you get back to your room, you jump in the shower first. With hot water and soap all your thoughts and problems slowly but surely drip out of you. The cut on your ear burns slightly from your shampoo but overall you might feel worse. You have erased the recording of your training to avoid the questions and Loki is an adult human being...or rather God. He would get along with his troubles and his brother, why should you get into the line of fire, that wasn't in the job description. You have to forget him, repress how you feel about him and concentrate on what your job is. Take care of him and protect him from danger - if it were really necessary, maybe even from himself. It can't go any more wrong than it already has, so you might as well relax and wait for tomorrow's mission. Steaming you get out of the shower and wrap yourself in your bathrobe before you stretch out on your bed and close your eyes. “Only five minutes," you think, before exhaustion overcomes you and you fall into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A loud rumble wakes you up and you almost cry out loud as you open your eyes and wrap your bathrobe tighter around you. Only the light of the corridor illuminates the scene that offers itself to you and bathes your room in unusual, almost eerie light. Thor is standing in your room, Mjöllnir threateningly raised in his left hand and Loki clamped in a vice handle under his right arm "So you're all right," the blonde god snorts, visibly relieved. "Loki here has told me about his art of knife throwing. And then you didn't show up for dinner. I just had to check on you to see if you were all right," Thor says apologetically as he releases Loki from the stranglehold. A smile steps on your face as he says so. The strong and powerful Thor cares about you, it could really go worse. You avoid looking at Loki when you answer: "No problem, I'm not made of sugar. I'm just pretty tired and wanted to be fit for tomorrow. So if you would be so friendly...", you throw the sentence unfinished into the room and Thor understands the hint immediately. "All right, little warrior, then sleep well. See you tomorrow", the blonde god says goodbye and pulls Loki behind him again, but this time only on his arm. You really wonder why Loki had been here at all, because he hadn't said a word yet. At this moment Loki turns around once more and looks at you from top to bottom, almost devouring you with his eyes. You are very happy that the light in your bathrobe shines only sparsely on you, for you would shamelessly call his gaze greedy, which again drives the blush of shame into your face. Loki smirks, then visibly pulls himself together and looks as if he wanted to say something, but then he only mumbles "night", and the door closes behind the two Asgardians which lets you alone with your thoughts in the darkness of the night.

When your alarm clock goes off the next morning, you wake up feeling like a shipwreck. Yesterday you have been awake for hours and thought about your experiences in the training room. What caused the pressure wave and if you could revive this power again. You had pondered until your eyes closed and you were lost in restless dreams. The dreams had first dealt with green eyes and hot glances before leading your subconscious into the unrealistic world of explosions and destroyed planets. Tired, you swing your legs out of bed and stumble into the bathroom to get ready. When you finally get down to the lounge, everyone is already there and talking. All eyes look to you as you enter the room and turning red you turn left towards the kitchen and breakfast, as the stares are making you nervous. Even Loki is already there and stares at you once more. Walking through the door you can hear how the conversations continue in your back. You hate too much attention, that hasn't changed your whole life and when you hear footsteps, anger rises inside you. The bacon and eggs you find on the stove can soothe you a bit, but the steps come closer and closer and you would wish Loki would just leave you alone. But when you turn around with your full plate and evil face, Loki is not standing behind you. Instead, Tony looks at you frowning and you force a gentler look at your face. "Hey, Tony, good morning." you say friendly hoping he hadn't noticed how angry you were seconds before. But Tony doesn't smile back. Carefully, as if you were badly injured, he raises his hand to your ear and carefully slides along beside the cut Loki's knife had made. "I shouldn't have sent you in there. You could have died," he mumbles with a sad face. "I would have actually hoped that you could tame Loki, but apparently he knows no mercy to anyone. I don't know if we can keep him here like this." You need a few seconds until you understand what Tony is talking about. He doesn't want to keep Loki here anymore. You're employed as Loki's supervisor, so you wouldn't be here much longer either. Your words nearly tumble as you try to convince him otherwise. "No, Tony, it wasn't like that. Loki thought that I was Thor and wanted to reinforce his words with the knife. I was just too slow to dodge. That's all it was. Loki also has a guilty conscience because he hurt me. He's not a monster, Tony. He...he just sometimes does things out of emotions that he regrets afterwards. I don't believe he's evil through and through. We just have to give him more chances to prove himself." Your voice has become more confident and your eyes sparkle as you stare at Tony hoping he would believe you. Finally a smile creeps on Tony's bearded face: "Well then we want to give your protégé another chance, right? You'll both come with us on the mission today and then we'll see how he plays along. Now eat up, we have to go soon." With his hands in his pocket Tony leaves the kitchen and you hurry to follow his words. 

By the time you arrive back in the lounge strengthened, the others are already dressed. All of them look more like business managers than superheroes, because they're all wearing elegant suits and blazers. But you know better. Everyone wears his or her equipment under their business clothes. Hidden and close fitting, reinforced with Tony's latest technology. Thor and Loki draw your attention because usually their looks are so different from what they look like in a suit. You can see every muscle through Thor's suit but he wasn't uncomfortable to look at, it was not to show his power as so many men do. On the contrary, it lends the god of thunder a different kind of elegance. A bit like another role into which Thor slips, serious and controlled. Only his smile, as always, is broad as he greets you. Loki, on the other hand, only nods at you for a moment before he looks elsewhere. Did he still have a guilty conscience? Whatever. Since he now looks away, you can observe him uninhibitedly. For the suit suits him perfectly, it was truly tailor-made just for him. Loki's slim physique made the suit fall relatively straight, but at exactly the right places like the chest and upper arms it stretched a little. Around the hips the suit lies tighter again and falls straight down the legs. Loki's noble face and above all his eyes harmonize well with the lighter blue of the suit and for you it is clear that Loki could definitely be a model. You, on the other hand, are more discreetly dressed, a light blazer and a red blouse, that's what you decided on in the morning together with a pair of Jeggins, you just wanted to be prepared for everything. Tony's voice pulls you out of your dreams and you hurry to turn your attention to him as he explains the plan to you all. The criminals had set up their own mercenary army of dark elves, and they wanted to steal the newest nano technology from Tony's lab for their purposes. That was what Natasha found out and so Tony had already made sure that his laboratory was unoccupied so that the Avengers would have room. Still, a politician would like to talk to Tony and the other Avengers first, hence the suits. The battle plan is simple. The strong in the front and the smaller and long-range fighters in the back. Loki will be there to advise on his knowledge of the dark elves and wait with you some place away from the lab, a headset would connect him with the other fighters. Your role is also clear - make sure Loki is well and no one approaches him unintentionally. He's still wearing the electric shackles that block his magical powers, so it's your job to make sure nothing happens to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Not an hour passed until everyone was there and had taken their places, ready for whatever may come. You and Loki are sitting in a black van with tinted windows and are kept at a safe distance, but with a good view of the lab. Tony has been kind enough to provide you with an earpiece as well so that you can at least hear what is happening inside the building. But you couldn't listen to the politician talking for three minutes. You have always found politics terribly boring and you can't suppress a yawn, so you quickly put your hand to your mouth to hide it. Loki's hoarse gurgle startles you and you stare at him making a not so intelligent face. Still as he watches you like a lion watches his next meal. "You don't like politics, do you?" he asks with his quiet, gentle voice and a little smirk around his mouth, which you love seeing. Admitting, you shake your head and Loki continues to look at you, but this time more thoughtful. "That was a flaming defence speech for me this morning. I wouldn't have expected it after last night." – “You listened in!" you exhale and look at your counterpart in horror. "I'm sure everyone could hear it, little human. I'm not yet sure whether I should like it that everyone now knows that I'm not a monster," he thinks out loud until he interrupts himself to ask you directly: "Are you still afraid of me, love?” - "I am never afraid of you Loki," you say indignantly.  
His eyes suddenly shrink to slits and he hisses angrily at you while his voice gets louder: "Of course you're afraid of me, I saw it in your eyes yesterday! You would have preferred to run away from me screaming! Even if you don’t think so but I notice it when people's glances change. When they see the monster in me and the fear paralyzes them. You're not the first one to do that." Conscious of guilt, you lower your gaze: "Yes, you're right, I was afraid of you in that moment. But only because I promised you not to leave you alone and you looked at me as if I had just stabbed you from behind. As if I am your mortal enemy who needs to die. This hatred in your eyes scared me. But you don't always look like that, you're not as evil as you want everyone to think," you try to explain yourself. Loki is silent for a moment and looks at you with his head slanting. You wait for his answer and are startled terribly when Loki suddenly stands up and puts his finger on the headset to turn the microphone on. "It's on," he says and immediately you're on alert.  
The shreds of instructions Loki gives to the Avengers seem as far away as the screams from the headset. You can see how exited Loki is as he mumbles into his headset and tries to give the others their best shot at this fight. You can hear how the others follow his instructions and give feedback to the situation. Tony is busy firing his guns when Loki tells him to pay attention to the background as dark elves try to surround their enemies. Lucky for Natasha, Clint always has her back and fights off the enemies with his bow. You can hear her thanking clint and also Thor is fighting back to back with Steve. In total it seems as everyone is doing well and you look at Loki who is as focused and tense as if he would be fighting, too. His eyes glisten with excitement as he roughly commands the others to obey to his commands. Tonys snide remarks seem not to irritate Loki, he is enjoying this far more as he should and you don’t mind watching him.  
You listen so eagerly to what's going on inside that you almost forget what your real task is. Carefully you direct your gaze to your surroundings which is your luck because it allows you to see the shadows coming out of the house in front of you. Loki, on the other hand, is so absorbed in listening and giving instructions that he doesn't notice the approaching danger. But you are. From the moment the five dark elves came out of the lab, you recognized them. Not that you could mistake them, their dark green and black robes and sharp ears were easy to spot. You notice them carefully walking around searching and then spotting the van. They are getting closer and closer to your position and you are sure that they know that Loki and you are in this vehicle. But what would they want from you? Thinking about it briefly, there is only one way to find out. You have to ask them yourself for you are not afraid of five dark elves. If they came too close to you, you would just show them how much you have learned; maybe you could cause the shock wave again, it would be nice to see. With a push you open the door, slip out and then let it snap back in with a flowing movement before Loki could even understand what you were up to. You can see his dreadful and disapproving look for a moment before the door removes him from your field of vision.  
  
You walk resolutely towards the Dark Elves as you repeat the mission in your head: they were not allowed to touch the Van and Loki. That's your job and that's what you were here for. One of the elves seems to be the leader and is talking to you. Unfortunately you don't understand a single word and he repeats his question. The third time he asks, he finally uses your language and you can understand him. "Where is the traitor Loki?", he spits out the words and expects you to answer him immediately, this you can tell by his demeanor, his nose held high and his eyes narrow looking down on you even though you were almost his size. Still you do him the favor: "He's not here. I'm alone in this surveillance van," you lie to him without batting an eye. The elf makes a gesture and two of the elves standing respectfully behind him start to move, their energy rifles in position. You carefully take two steps back to defend yourself easier. "Mind if we check it out for ourselves, human?" the spokesman asks mockingly before you start to move and kick his two warriors off their legs then knocking them out with skilful blows to the neck. The surprise in the face of the Dark Elf briefly brings you some satisfaction, but then you have your hands full avoiding the energy bullets of the other attackers. It's like the training arena. Action and reaction, nothing more. You know what to do, know your target and gradually take out the other two dark elves. The leader's eyes emit sparks as he watches his comrades fall. He tosses away his rifle which he knows is not useful in single combat so he pulls out his sword.  
But you look at him unimpressed and slowly take your baton out of your pocket. A gadget you received from Tony when you started your job. Small and handy but when you press the button on the side, it reveals a metal weapon that can easily take on a sword even though it wasn't sharp. But you can effectively bring your opponent to the ground for a longer time if you needed to. You nearly lost with the first shot, though. Because even while the elf is just a little bigger than you are, he' s a lot stronger and blocking his attack almost knocks you down. You can stay on your feet but barely manage to dodge his blows. He attacks so continuously that you can only defend yourself and your strength decreases faster than you like. Because unfortunately the Dark Elf no longer underestimates you. In the beginning he classified you as a harmless human but now he knows that you can fight and does not hold back. Finally you succeed in letting him miss you and attack yourself. Three or four blows you drive him back before you strike your baton at his temple, which would send him to the boards. All of a sudden something hits you with full force in the back on the left side and flings you forward. Still falling, you manage to turn so you won’t fall on your face and take a glance back just to see one of the first two dark elves lying on the ground behind you with a rifle in his hand. The second you reach the ground, you can see Loki angrily knocking the shooter to the ground again before your attention, for better or for worse, turns to the other dark elf who puts his sword tip on your chest. "Pitiful human being. You should have known better than to challenge us. Now you pay for your arrogance!", he guffs angrily, then leans on his sword which results in a sharp cry from your lips. With it the excruciating pain starts and the world around you disappears behind a red curtain.


	6. Chapter 6

"She should have waited.", the loud and angry voice startles you but you can't open your eyes. "Then you'd both be trapped or dead." You can hear another voice talking much quieter trying to calm down the other. "I should have fought with her but you hold me back!", the first voice responds but suddenly it's quiet again as your mind slips back to the darkness. The next time you come to consciousness, you can make out two arguing voices again: "Let me heal her. She should not die yet especially as I am the one who is responsible for all of this." - "I cannot release you. You have not proved yourself yet." Let me heal her. The words cling to your slow mind and fragments of your memories come to the surface of the black hole that is your mind. Magic than can either destroy or heal. And as the dark and dusty voice starts to talk again, you finally recognize Loki. "You do not trust me. But she did. She even told you! So let her heal me if only for her sake, I won’t break out of the chains, I promise!" You hear his voice shaking and would love to take his hand to calm him and assure him that you are all right but the other one – you are certain that it’s Tonys voice - takes your attention. "She has the best doctors around her. She will by no means die, I will not have it. And it would be an enormous risk to let you use magic. So no, you will practice patience, like all of us had to do at a time." Again the voices become quieter and the silence louder until the blackness burns through your innermost. When you finally are able to open your eyes, the room you lie in is empty. Your head is humming terribly and everything hurts, but at least you're not dead - which according to your last memory was actually pretty certain. Your eyelids are sticking together and when you raise your hands to rub them, only your right hand obeys you. The left one is in a noose that seems to have been tied to your body so that no further movement is possible. Without a warning a loud thud lets you turn your head and you see the door swing open with a jerk which makes your heart race and you find it hard to breathe because you were so flustered.

To find your breath again, you try to clear your throat but instead start coughing and you cough up blood. You look up with tears in your eyes to see who came in and startled you, to see Loki standing there. Carefully he is still stayed next to the door, watching you suspiciously and worried at the same time as you can breathe normally again. "Hey", you mean to say, but only a rattle comes out, because your throat is as dry as straw. Loki notices this immediately and steps closer to offer you a glass of water, wherever he found it in this moment. Carefully you sip, but spill half the water over his hands with your next coughing attack. Loki carefully dabs the excess water from your face and gives you the glass to your lips again. "Slow down. Take your time, nothing will happen to you," he says, reassuringly. After a few sips you feel a little better now and that drink refreshed you. Nevertheless, your head still wanted to burst in pain and so you put the cool back of your hand on your forehead. "How are you?" Loki asks quietly and you force yourself to look at him. His forehead is grimly wrinkled and his eyes were full of reserved anger. Your voice trembles considerably as you answer him: "Good so far. At least I think so. All is pain," you admit, hoping it would soften him a little. In fact, a little spark of compassion soothes Loki's expression, yet the young God gives you the lecture you expected - admittedly from Tony - but you knew it was coming. 

"Why did you leave the car?! I could have protected you, we would have sent reinforcements and nothing would have happened. What were you thinking? Are you just stupid or don't you care about your life, is that it? You don’t care about it? Either way, it’s the stupidest thing I have ever seen and you know that Thor is my brother!" Loki just spits out his anger like a bad taste on the tongue. His accusation hits you hard, although you can normally deal with a lot of negativity. Perhaps it was because Loki was the one accusing you of stupidity and carelessness. "Why did I leave the car? Because it is my duty to protect you! I have to make sure that nothing happens to you, that's why I'm here. And it would have gone well if I had knocked out the one elf properly and not only half. And you were tied up in the van helping the others, how would you have wanted to help me at the same time? Especially when your powers are blocked by the handcuffs." You talk yourself into rage and your voice gets louder and louder. "And the others all had their hands full, you said it yourself! So I tried the only logic thing and made attack to my defence. I protected you as I wanted to and I will not apologize for my decision and my effort yesterday!” Loki remains silent in the face of your outburst of rage and begins to respond just to be interrupted by the door blowing open and Thor entering the room with Tony in tow. "Oh really, it was as if I had heard your charming little voice, dear brother," Thor purrs with his warm voice and wide smile while he winks at you. "You already look after our little heroine, how sweet of you. She really deserves your attention." Loki answers something nasty but you don't listen to the caboodle as your other visitor sits down on the edge of your bed. Tony shakes his head over the brothers' skirmish, but looks at you anxiously. 

"How are you?" he asks in a much softer voice than Loki did earlier. You repeat your words: "I think quite well. It all hurts and I can't move my left arm, but I guess it will come back. What happened after I passed out?" - You mean after the bad guy stabbed you?”, Tonys eyebrow raises and he looks in the direction of the still arguing brothers: “Loki here must have given him a hard hit, because when we finally arrived at the truck, the dark elf lay meters away and Loki had put his jacket on your chest. The sword didn't pierce you to your luck, but it really demolished your lungs." Hence the blood when coughing, you think, but you don't ask the question coming to your mind, but instead listen to Tony's story with a slight excitement as you were interested in Lokis reaction. "Natasha called the ambulance and you had an emergency operation the same day. But the doctors didn't want to leave you on the ward that long because of all the paparazzi, so we brought you here to the Stark Tower where we monitor you since." In your mind you count the hours that must have passed since your surgery and your thought must have been written on your face. "Come on, tell her, Tony. Tell her how long our mission has been done, she thinks that was yesterday." Loki interferes and still stares at you angrily, ignoring Thor who tried to stop Loki from talking. Tony, on the other hand, looks down at you compassionately and puts his hand on your arm. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this now, but you've been unconscious for almost a week. For a short time we were afraid that you wouldn't wake up at all. Maybe your lungs will also suffer permanent damage also nobody knows if your arm will return to functioning as it did before. The doctors can't tell us anything yet." With a graceful movement, Tony gets up from bed as if he wanted to run away from another conversation. "Now get some rest, so that you can regain your strength. I'll take those two rioting brothers with me.", Tony promises. With a lowered gaze so nobody can see the tears starting to well up in your eyes, you say goodbye to the others and only when the door clicks shut, you can’t hold back the tears anymore. Remaining damages possible, you have been unconscious for a week. You could have been dead. All these thoughts haunt your head and make torrents of tears flow out of you like you were a sponge that was filled with water. You'd like to scream out loud but you don't want anyone to know how bad you feel, so you put your right fist in your mouth and bite on it so hard that you can taste the blood.

"You shouldn't do that, dear. Your body has enough work to keep you alive." you hear from the armchair on your left. A dark voice which is much too familiar to you. Loki sits there and you can still see how the last illusion of the empty room disappears in the air. He stayed there the whole time and watched you secretly. You defiantly wipe the tears off your eyes and nose and stare at him from red eyes. "Do you enjoy torturing me," you mumble and Loki has to smile which you didn’t expect. "Is it fun for me? No. But you take me to my limits as far as my control is concerned. I have never been so frustrated with anyone, not even my brother. You come into my chamber, let me throw knives at you and try to comfort me even though I hurt you. Then you attack a flock of dark elves to protect me and almost get yourself killed. And I am doomed to watch you and am not even allowed to heal your wounds. Apart from the fact that they don’t want me to be alone with you. I wonder why?" Carefully he steps closer and sits down at the edge of the bed next to you. "You could be so much better if I were allowed to use my magic. But at least I can dry your tears for the moment," he whispers as he swings his legs onto your bed and places your head on his shoulder. Carefully he wipes the remaining tears from your face and gently strokes your hair. You notice how your excitement disappears and you can relax a little. Somehow it makes you happy to be here and that Loki sits next to you. Your eyelids become sluggish and your body heavier, you feel that tiredness caresses you warmly and comfortably. And that your pain diminishes. You put your fingers on Loki's hand and feel it, the heat that his magic produces and the slight tingling that dances across your skin as the magic flows through you. "Loki, your magic. You can still use it!" you whisper breathlessly. "Psst. Nobody should hear or know it, so don't betray me, little heroine," you feel his velvety voice brush past your hair before sleep finally embraces you.


	7. Chapter 7

‘You shouldn't do that, dear. Your body already has enough work to keep you alive at all,' you hear a voice from the armchair on your left that is much too familiar to you. Loki is sitting there and you can still see how the last illusion disappears flickering in the air. He stayed there the whole time and watched you secretly. You defiantly wipe your eyes and nose and stare at him from red eyes. "Are you having fun torturing me," you mumble and Loki has to smile against all expectations. "Is it fun for me? No. But you take me to my limits as far as my control is concerned. I have never been so frustrated about a human. You come into my chamber, let me throw knives at you and try to calm me down even though I hurt you. Then you attack a group of dark elves as if it’s a cup of tea only to protect me and almost have them kill you. And I am doomed to watch you and I’m not even allowed to heal your wounds. But then I at least deserve to take care of you in return, don't I?" Carefully he steps closer and sits down at the edge of the bed next to you.   
"You could feel much better if I could use my magic. But at least I can dry your tears for the moment," he whispers as he swings his legs onto your bed and places your head on his shoulder. Carefully he wipes the tears from your face and gently strokes your hair. You notice how your excitement disappears, you can relax a little and the throbbing of your hand slowly subsides. Your eyelids become sluggish and your body heavier, you feel that fatigue caresses you warmly and comfortably. And that your pain becomes less. You put your fingers on Loki's hand and feel it. The heat that his magic causes and the slight tingling that quickly dances across your skin as the magic flows through you. Loki, you are doing magic? I mean your magic, you...so you can use it after all" you whisper breathlessly. "Psst. Nobody should hear or know it, so don't betray me, little heroine," you feel his velvety voice brushing past your hair before sleep finally embraces you.

When you wake up Loki has disappeared again and you rub your eyes confused whether your fantasy has not simply played a trick on you and you had a beautiful dream. But when you swing your feet out of bed you feel fit again, but then a slight dizziness grabs you and you correct yourself in your thoughts. Almost fit again. You stand up but stay close to the wall just in case. In the bathroom you have the first opportunity to have a closer look at yourself and the result is not the best when you take off your sickbed robe. Blue bruises decorate your chest and stomach and you can see the crescent-shaped red scar clearly protrude. It looks ugly, so pull your nightgown over it again. It pulls you out of your boring room, you have to know something about the others and so you look in your sick bed for your clothes but the only thing you find is a too short bathrobe. Since you have no other option, you put it on and have to realize to your regret that your fresh scar is not covered by the fabric and the whole thing does not even reach your knees. What a funny bathrobe that is. Normally you would never go outside with such a neckline - but what option do you have, you don't just want to lie around. You leave the room carefully but wonder why nobody is around to look after you. You can't even spot Loki. However, a few meters away you see an open door from which voices reach to you and you curiously walk towards it. However, mentioning your name causes you to stop in front of it. 

"This is a miracle," you hear Tony murmur. "Oh, don't talk yourself into anything. She should be dead and should not have regained consciousness. You know this." says another voice grumbling. Tony doesn't seem very enthusiastic about this statement, because he replies dryly: "Fury, you really are the only one who manages to make the survival of a human being sound like a loss. Like it would be a bad thing if a young and courageous woman survived such an attack. I am very glad as she is very diligent and reliable. So stop talking so negative." Fury coughed: "It's not about talking down her survival. But I don't know why she survived, it wasn't physically possible." You turn away disturbed, your survival was nothing you wanted to have broken down into individual parts. Besides, you didn't want Tony or Fury to catch you out here listening. So you tiptoed your way back to your room.

You are carefully looking around again before going back to your room where the door is still open. Relieved, you slip in, only to hit something with a dull blow. You briefly see stars and would inevitably have fallen to the ground if strong arms had not protected you from it and put you back up straight. It takes a while for the white lightning in your head to subside and you can see again. You almost fall over again in fright, because nobody less than Loki stands in front of you and looks at you with an examining expression. "I was worried you'd run away, love." You are embarrassed trying to pull your bathrobe over the ugly scar while he watches you and as that doesn't work, you want to turn away from shame. It's just too stupid for Loki to catch you in that outfit. But before you can begin your turn, you hear his quiet, sad voice whispering. "No”, that's all he says, but you could hear the softly spoken words as if he was yelling them out loud. Carefully as if he would take a raw egg in his hands, the beautiful God stretches out his left hand and touches the skin over your scar with his narrow fingers. The cold touch of his fingers on your skin makes your neck hair stand on end but you still manage to stand still while Loki strokes the scar with his fingers. Shudders chase down your back while his fingers continue to lie on your chest and he examines the scar. Loki's gaze becomes sadder and sadder and you are about to say something, as he abruptly takes his hand away and takes a step back. "Please excuse me, I didn't want to trouble you," he says with a scratchy voice, but you don't want to hear an apology from him. "On the contrary, it’s me who is sorry. I should not run around in such a way that everyone can see this ugly disfigurement. I will change immediately and make myself fit for salon", you reply, looking at the floor with shame. "I very much hope that I didn't scare you too much," you add, just before he grabs you wildly by the shoulders and forces you to look at him.


	8. Chapter 8

What you see doesn't promise anything good. In Loki's eyes there is pure anger and also his anger feels as if he wants to burst your shoulder, he grabs you so tightly. There was nothing left of the sensitive and sad Loki in a matter of seconds, instead he sparkles at you: "Why do you say something like that? You jumped off Death's shovel, made yourself my shield and successfully fought against dark elves. The scar is proof of your courage and willingness to sacrifice. And nothing is more important to you than that I didn't get scared? What is wrong with you?" Tears of rage come into your eyes and you throw around his ears what you just overheard. "If you hadn't used your magic, I wouldn't be alive anymore. I should have died but you prevented it. I would have just died that day and I would never have done that to you...", you interrupt the sentence, "Never mind, but the only thing you see now when you look at me is the scar. The thing that disfigures me and will remind us for the rest of my life that I am in your debt. So yes, I very much hope that I didn't scare you, because I don't already know how I will ever pay you back my life. I don't even know what my life is worth, let alone what I could do for you." 

Hot tears run down your cheeks and you stare at the beautiful man in front of you with a veiled look while your hands shake uncontrollably. Loki releases his firm grip from your shoulders and takes your hand carefully into his, making his gaze softer again. Again his change of mood comes suddenly and unexpectedly for you, because now he smiles. "Your life is worth as much as that of another, little one. Whether he is a superhero or not, your ability to stand up for others and forget you is something very special. When I look at your world, there are far too many egoists here. Everyone looks at themselves and tries to earn as much money as possible. And for what? They don't manage to spend all that money anymore because of all the work they've done, they keep on raking in money with their arms wide open, and they strike a blow with their elbows at all those who stand in their way. You call this the elbow society, right? But you are so totally different," an admiring tone creeps into his voice as he continues: "You throw yourself into a fight for me that is not yours at all. You support Tony without asking what riches he could get you. And yes, I talked to him about it once, you earn money but not very much as far as I understand. All in all you sell yourself below value. And as for the subject of paying back debt..." he begins and his grin becomes wolfish as he looks at you lasciviously.

"I've got some ideas." Once more you blush when you understand what he's hinting at right now. You're just wondering if you can give him a snappish answer, your legs suddenly fail and you collapse like a wet sponge. If Loki hadn't kept you alert, you would probably have made a rough acquaintance with the floor. Like a sack of potatoes you hang in his arms, unable to lift a finger, as if you were a doll and someone had cut your threads. But you weren't wrong either, so at least you were close to him. You inhale his scent, wood and fire mixed with the scent of fir needles. This is how you imagine the smell in a small cozy hut in the forest. Tiredness spills over you and not much is missing until you fall asleep.

"Hey Loki, what are you doing?" suddenly a voice calls and your tiredness is blown away as you recognize Tony's voice. You almost expect Loki to let you fall for fear, but on the contrary. He carefully takes you by the back and his long fingers grab your thigh. He lifts you up in front of him as if you were a feather. "Our princess has stretched her legs and wanted a little too much. I just found her and wanted to lead her into her chamber," Loki proclaims and you can almost hear Tony twisting her eyes. You feel the gurgling laughter in Loki's chest that reminds you a little of a purring cat. Tony puts a hand on your forehead, then Loki turns sideways and you see Tony make room, so that Loki passes him.   
You cuddle up in the god's arms and suck in his smell and hope to memorize it so that you will never forget it. The short walk to your room goes by much too fast and you look up tired to Loki, who doesn't let himself be seen as he is in the mood. Gently he puts you to bed and covers you up to your neck. When he turns around to go, you stretch out your hand to hold him back. "Stay," you growl quietly and to your surprise Loki turns smiling around to you. "If you really want that, Princess. But only five minutes I don't know what the others will do if they catch me with you," he just says before he lies down next to you and you put your head on his chest where his smell surrounds you again. His hand is on your hip and as you notice already in the evening before you feel the warmth radiating from his hands and how you slowly but surely feel better by his magic. The warmth penetrates you completely and you fall asleep with the thought that there could be no better place than to lie here in this bed.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning you wake up because you are infinitely warm and something tickles your cheek. Without moving you open your eyes and see Loki, who has his head comfortably bedded on your chest. Two dark strands stand off from the back of his head and pinch your cheek while he has his arms wrapped possessively around you. This makes it clear to you why you are feeling so warm. You watch him in amazement as he lies so close to you. Calm and relaxed as if nothing could wake him up. His forehead is smooth without the worry lines, his facial features look so much nobler and he looks years younger, almost youthful although he was actually really old when you look at his years of life. A quiet smile scurries over your face and you can't hold back and carefully drive your fingers along his beautiful face. 

His reaction comes again suddenly and unexpectedly as he snaps out of his sleep and grabs your hand with a growl, holds it over your head and presses on you, your right arm is still in the loop. You can't move a muscle anymore and breathe heavily and strained because he takes your air with his weight. His face is only inches from yours and his hair falls down on your face and you felt as if someone had drawn a curtain around you. You can study his green eyes while he kneels over you and looks at you dangerously, almost animalistically. You're still busy looking at his contours and thinking about what's going on in him, he's kissing you. His lips feel surprisingly soft on yours and you are only too happy to return the kiss. Secretly you had dreamed of such a moment, hoping that you would come so close to Loki and be alone with him. And finally it was so far even if the circumstances could be better for you. You don't know how long you kiss but you lose yourself in Loki's warmth and tenderness that you didn't think possible. Your right hand moves by itself and you embrace Loki's head with your hand, grab his dark hair to push him even closer to you. You feel Loki's smile on your lips even before you hear it. "My my, dear. You shouldn't go all out right away, even if the offer honors me." Amused, he pulls his head away and looks you in the eye as he lies down from you and next to you on the bed again. You are surprised how calm he looks. You are still pretty much through the wind by the kiss and thinking rub your hands together. 

Your hands. 

With a scream you open your eyes widely and stare at Loki. "My arm! You healed it! I can move it again, my God you are unbelievable Loki", you rejoice exuberantly and press a kiss on the forehead of your rescuer. "Thank you, Loki. Without your magic I would be dead. I can't tell you otherwise what it means to me, what you mean to me. Loki, I...", you break off the sentence before your heart takes the floor again in front of your mind and Loki looks at you questioningly. "I thank you," you hurry to say and he nods thoughtfully while lying on his side of the bed. "My magic hasn't been very strong. It is still inhibited but it was apparently enough to heal you although it took longer. Maybe it also has something to do with your strong survival will. Or with your need to protect me. Who knows. In any case, I have to take a shower now and get out of here before anyone else sees us like this. In the end they might think I did something to you," he grins and almost fell off the bed as you lean towards him and kiss him intensely. You put all your admiration and love into this kiss to show the man in front of you what he is for you even if it was perhaps too early to say it out loud. The young god kisses you back with the same intensity and you notice that your pulse accelerates and your breath is shorter. When Loki notices this, he will certainly detach himself from you, but to your satisfaction you did not miss the fact that his breath also goes faster. The thought of it brings a mischievous smile to your face and Loki also grins wolfishly at your upset yet happy sight. "Slowly," he warns you before he glides down from the bed and disappears from your room like a blow of the wind.  
You are agitated but also quite happy and let yourself sink back into the pillows and put your recovered hand on the place where Loki slept. Your life has turned so upside down in the short time you've been here, from the injury and the operation to the surprising turn of events at your injury. And that Loki seems to respond to your feelings or at least finds you attractive. Can and will he have a relationship with you? And what would that mean for your employment? Too many thoughts buzz through your head and threaten to overwhelm you. Sometimes you just hate your head, you can't be happy about something without thinking about it until you find something that breaks it. You moan as a pain drives into your chest and takes the air to breathe again.  
It's probably like Loki said, his magic wasn't strong enough to heal you completely.


	10. Chapter 10

Your thoughts and pain occupy you so much that you don't notice Thor entering the room. As a result, you are quite frightened when your bed unexpectedly lowers. You look at the blonde man in front of you confused and he must have noticed that he tore you out of twisted thoughts. "You look good, are you feeling better?" he asks friendly and looks you openly in the face. You cannot hide your joy and wag your right hand in front of your face. "Look, I can move it! It is healed again, only my heart is still a little beaten and quickly overwhelmed, but I think it will go away soon." Thor smiles knowingly and says teasingly: "And I think Loki has asked you from time to time how you are doing, am I right?" You are shocked and withdraw a little from him until he puts his hand on your forearm and looks deep into your eyes. "No fear, my dear. I have known my brother for a while and I know how he works. He had a totally guilty conscience because you were hurt and so he even got in a fight with Tony to let him go. You don't think he would let himself be held up by such handcuffs for a long time, would you?" Thor's words make you a little more courageous and you ask: "And you didn't rat on Loki? I don't want him to get into trouble because of me. Tony still thinks he's not capable of caring for others." Your counterpart smiles: "Stark still thinks Loki is a monster because he doesn't know him. If he knew Loki as long as I do, or if he cared about him as much as you do, he would realize that Loki hides a lot of emotions and worries about people he cares about. Even if his actions don't always show that, I know he wouldn't secretly use his magic to help everyone. I see that he cares about you even if I don't know where it's going yet and how deep it is."   
Thor scratches his head in embarrassment and adds: "However, I am glad that he has found someone in you who he cares about. I very much hope that your connection only brings out good in him. And that you'll be happy with him and he won't do anything stupid again. I mean…well... I just am glad that you calm him down and that you are there for him. And if he hurts you or if you don't understand him, feel free to come to me and I will help you if I can, all right?" Thor's announcement moves you very much and not much is missing and you start to cry. You already feel the tears in your eyes and shake your head reluctantly. "Thank You Thor. I don't know how it will be and if Loki feels comfortable in a relationship with me and where it all leads. It means a lot to me that you stand behind Loki and don't betray him. Although he is not always the nicest brother to you, you are there for him and I will certainly accept your offer from time to time. I've always wanted a brother,' you admit sobbing, and now the tears are finally rolling down your cheeks. Thor closes you firmly in his arms with a jerk and your head lands on his chest. "If I could choose a little sister, I'd probably choose you too, little one." You don't know how long you lean quietly in Thor's arms and listen to his heartbeat but there is no unpleasant silence between you, on the contrary you give each other strength and confirmation by embracing each other. Finally Thor gets up and wishes you a good night and suddenly you realize that you are incredibly tired. As you dawn, wondering if Thor can't work magic, you close your eyes and fall asleep not a minute later.   
Sometime later you wake up and feel better than you have in a long time. A little light penetrates the blinds and tickles your nose. You swing out of bed and your right arm also follows all the movements you ask of it. Your gaze goes to the clock and you almost fall over in shock because it's the middle of the night. The red numbers tell you that it is only three o'clock in the night and only then do you realize that the light that tickled your nose is the moon. Nevertheless, you feel so well rested as if you had slept through for days. And now you're already awake anyway, now you wouldn't be able to sleep any more. That's why you get up and put on your jogging pants and a comfortable T-shirt (which you can get over your head without any problems, now that your arm is movable again) and make your way where you suspect the elevator. You don't know exactly which floor you are on and the blue and white walls don't let you guess if there is an Avenger living here. Fortunately, pretty much every floor in the Stark Tower is built the same, as you find the elevator exactly where you expect it to be and you can see that you are on the third floor. You don't really want to go back to your room right now, so you're thinking about going to the training room. As it's the middle of the night, nobody would want to train right now, so you press the button and Tony's technical toy takes you down in seconds.  
It takes a while until the automatic light registers that you are walking through the corridors but you don't mind, the path was as familiar to you as your own face. The last light comes on when you are already standing outside the door to the training room and typing in the code. You think you need to talk to Tony urgently to tell him that his technique reacted very slowly in the middle of the night and the Stark Tower was more vulnerable. While you are so absorbed in your thoughts, you notice a shadow standing in the middle of the room, seemingly absorbed in a simulation, because the light is still off even though you have entered the room and closed the door behind you. You wait a few more heartbeats for the person to notice you and as this doesn’t happen, you try to find out who is standing in front of you in the middle of the night. You recognize long hair and even the narrow stature lets you guess who is standing in front of you. But you don't really recognize Loki until you hear his voice. Soft sounds come from his throat and the sound can't be described any differently than dreamlike. You've never heard Loki sing before and now you're wondering why he didn't do it more often. You listen to his dreamy yet strained voice, which produces a seductive melody that saddens you and brings tears to your eyes. Melancholy and sadness mixed with longing bring out feelings in you that you usually hide. You wonder if Loki has similar feelings while he is singing. Quietly you leave the door behind and stride towards Loki to embrace him, which has become an ever greater need the longer you are listening to him. He notices you when you are still two meters away, but this time there is no unforeseen reaction.

Anyway, not a negative one.

You see him tilting his head and looking at you as you stumble towards him. He doesn't resist your embrace either, on the contrary pulls you firmly into his arms and puts his nose to your head and you hear him breathing deeply. You bury your forehead on your chest and again his smell helps you to calm down. His silence is rubbing off on you and the tears are rolling down your cheeks, but this time with sheer joy that he is here and holding you so tight. "I keep going through the simulation and thinking about what I could have done differently that day. Whether I should have protected you better from the beginning. How I saw you lying there," Loki's voice breaks through the silence and he reluctantly shakes his head. "Again and again I see you bleeding and fainting and I can't get over the point where I panic. Terrible panic that chokes me and threatens to devour me. And my magic comes out. Unplanned and unbridled." At first you don't notice it but Loki points with his hand behind you to the wall. You turn around, still leaning against him and trying to see something in the slight twilight.

Your eyes are struggling but after a while you can see the deep furrows in the wall, long cracks and also some craters burnt into the meter thick concrete wall. Shocked, you take his hand and kiss it to show him that you won't leave him alone. Loki's gaze makes you nervous; the otherwise so clear green eyes are covered with shadows while he watches you uncertainly. Loki clears his throat and his voice sounds a bit hoarse as he speaks: "And I could have sworn you would run away from fear now. Once more you surprise me, my dear." Your voice trembled again as you quietly but firmly said: "I've told you before, you hearing impaired God. I won't leave you, probably not even if you order it. So get used to being surprised." Teasingly, you bite his lips and hear his quiet growl: "And you'll get used to this," he says, and you can take a breath before he kisses you with divine passion. You kiss him back with everything that is possible for you as a human being and in this moment you are the happiest person on earth. Whatever problems you may face, be it alien attacks or criticism of your relationship, you don't care as long as there are such quiet and beautiful moments you can share with Loki. You let go of him and cuddle up to his chest, putting your head against his throat. As if you had been together for a long time, he puts his face on your head in an intimate gesture and you notice his beard hair slightly tickling on your scalp, but you don't care and when he starts humming quietly with his beautiful voice, a dreamy expression creeps onto your face.  
As long as you and Loki were together, nothing can happen, you are absolutely sure of that at this moment.


End file.
